With Jumanji: The Next Level right around the corner with its premiere, now is the best time to appreciate the stars and the reason why they became popular. Kevin Hart, in particular, has been a mainstay in comedy within the last decade, thanks to his stand-up shows and characters in movies that are always memorable.
In this list, we’ve included the quotes that represent the hilarious jokes Kevin has delivered in his performances. In order to fully appreciate the comedy here, you need to check out the stand-up shows they were told in as most of them involve physical comedy. With that in mind, here are 10 chosen quotes out of the many Kevin Hart has delivered in his career.
“I’m The Definition Of Tough.” - Ride Along (2014)
In Ride Along, to show to James that he’s worthy of marrying his sister, Kevin’s character, Ben, goes on a ride along to prove he’s tough. This quote is hilarious if you’ve watched this scene before, and if you haven’t, then it’ll make you laugh once you’ve checked it out.
As it happened, Ben claimed he was the definition of tough to a gang of hooligans, all of whom were twice his size. When none of them were intimidated, he began rambling about how the way his mother earned money (it wasn’t pretty), mistaking one of the gang member’s wife for a man and eventually started crying when he got cornered and had to be rescued by James.
“You Ever See His Legs After He Falls?” - Kevin Hart: Seriously Funny (2010)
Kevin should become one of the A-list celebrities to appear in a video game, because he sure would make the motion capture a treat to watch. Here, he showed in excruciating detail how Shaquille O’Neal tended to react every time he fell during a match.
Demonstrating his claim, Kevin fell on the ground as if he were a cat clutching the air for support while pointing out toward Shaq in the crowd to tell him that’s exactly what he looked like. Making this even funnier is the fact that it is 100% true, and the reaction of LeBron James who couldn’t contain himself with laughter.
“You’ve Got Allergies, Spencer? I Don’t Have The Top Two Feet Of My Body!” - Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle (2017)
One of the things that made the Jumanji sequel better than the original was the presence of Kevin Hart, as he did a wonderful job playing Fridge, a big guy in a small man’s body. The best part here was watching him have a total meltdown.
When The Rock’s character, Spencer, noted how he had certain allergies, Fridge had no sympathies for him, owing to the fact that he’d just lost around half of his body after falling into the Jumanji game. To be honest, you did have to sympathize with Fridge, although his crazy mannerisms ended up making the scene funny.
“Get Out The Bowl!” - Kevin Hart: Seriously Funny (2010)
This image has been memed to eternity, and Kevin Hart has benefited from it too as this bit from his stand-up comedy special has become one of the most replayed moments. Here, Kevin recounted how his grandfather would get mad at everything and then stare at the thing he’d screamed at.
In this story, his grandfather got angry at a cat drinking milk out the bowl; rather than do anything like moving the cat, the grandfather simply kept staring at the cat as if the animal was supposed to understand what he’d just yelled about.
“Stepping Off? Who Are You, Shaft? How About You Get Some Language From This Year.” - Think Like A Man (2012)
In his breakout role as Cedric in Think Like A Man, Kevin’s trademark savage remarks came into the spotlight, very much so in this scene where he had the gall to talk down to actual basketball players. The scene had Cedric take offense to the basketball players asking him and his friends if they were “stepping off,” which began Cedric’s trash talk.
Accusing the players of trying to intimidate them by talking like Shaft, Cedric tried to bring them down by asking them to talk like people from the current decade, and also accused one of the players to look like a “stronger version of Prince.” It was one of the many awkward yet hilarious comedy bits that Kevin Hart would make popular in the coming years.
“Let’s Ride…!” Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain (2013)
This quote doesn’t sound like much if you haven’t seen this bit, but it’s guaranteed to make you laugh once you’ve enjoyed the comedy on display. Here, Kevin explained why he hated horseback riding, as a past experience still haunted him.
Since he was too short, he couldn’t do much other than be awkwardly placed on the back of the horse, and the presence of the instructor in front of him meant the up-and-down movements made Kevin feel as if he was violating the man, who for some reason seemed to be enjoying it. This is why the “let’s ride” freaked Kevin out as he got the impression he was having his way with the horse while his friends laughed at his expense.
“So… Somebody Had To Go - We Took A Vote, She Lost, I Kicked Her Off.” - Kevin Hart: Seriously Funny (2010)
Among many things, Kevin isn’t fond of babysitting either, as he likens it to responsibility he’s not cut out for despite having kids of his own. He realized he was a horrible babysitter because all he did was wait for the kids to mess up so he could tell them off.
In this instance, his daughter was the guilty one as Kevin found out she had pushed a little girl Kevin was babysitting off the top of the bunk bed because, in their imaginary game, the prince had only limited room at the top of the castle. So, somebody had to go, and Kevin’s daughter had a vote with the other kids and the conclusion was to literally kick off the little girl off the bed.
“Yes…Cake Is My Weakness…” - Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle (2017)
Fridge didn’t get a break while he was in the Jumanji game, as his avatar had basically no strong attributes while having the dumbest kind of weaknesses. In fact, all of his weaknesses should have been strengths.
As it turned out, cake was Fridge’s weakness too…for some reason, which only made him madder as he then launched into a tirade against his character for whom speed and strength were also weak points. Watching him lose it because of things being so hopelessly against him was one of the best scenes of the movie.
“You’re Telling Me You Could Go To Bed Dead But Wake Up Alive?” - Scary Movie 3 (2003)
Anthony Anderson and Kevin Hart killed it with their chemistry in Scary Movie 3 and Scary Movie 4, where they would constantly have arguments about paradoxes. In this scene, Anthony’s character claimed someone “woke up dead.”
Kevin’s character shot back at this by asking how anyone could wake up dead since they would be…well, dead. He then questioned further by pointing out that someone could be dead but then not wake up in a bed. It was a pointless conversation, but one made hilarious due to the banter involved.
“His Body Was Facing This Way, But His Head Was Like This.” - Kevin Hart: I’m a Grown Little Man (2009)
Being a successful stand-up comedian requires one to be an excellent storyteller as well, and Kevin is one person whose stories are sure to engage and amuse. In this one, he retold the time when his friend threw a pen at an ostrich, drawing the wrath of the bird.
When Kevin and his pal took off in their car to escape the bird, it apparently managed to match the speed of the car and bolted right next to the vehicle; as Kevin explained, the ostrich’s body faced the front, but his head was locked in straight on its target, which happened to be Kevin.
