Tina Belcher was originally conceived as a boy named Dan, but it’s hard to imagine him being any more popular than the girl he became in the final version of the pilot episode. Tina is most fans’ favorite character on the show, and she’s also everyone’s confident, empowered, socially awkward, feminist hero.
A lot of the popularity of the show can be attributed to the popularity of Tina, and it’ll be interesting how the show translates to the big screen when the movie adaptation is released next year. So, here are the ten best quotes from Tina.
On driving
What makes this quote work so well is what follows. Tina is getting her first driving lesson in a mostly empty parking lot with Bob in the passenger seat. When she says, “Let’s make this kitty purr,” it sounds as though she’s excited to rev up the engine and do a bunch of donuts in the parking lot. But then the second she starts driving, she freaks out and crashes into the only other car in the entire parking lot. The whole situation has become a beloved meme in the years since the episode aired.
“Let’s make this kitty purr.”
On heroism
Tina is always trying to do the right thing. The funny thing about this quote is that, to many people, Tina is a hero. She’s a great role model – she tells us to be ourselves, even if ourselves is a socially awkward nerd who writes erotic fan fiction and has a thing for zombies. She’s a hero to a bunch of people. But since they all exist in the real world and not in the world of the show, Tina will never know how many people she’s inspired.
“I’m no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time, just like everyone else.”
On giving up
Whenever something slightly negative happens in Tina’s life, she groans and curls up on the floor to slowly die. She’s very defeatist in that sense – for example, when Jimmy, Jr. arranged a date for Valentine’s Day. But all she needs is a little chat with her mother before she’s back to feeling happy and positive and optimistic again. In that case, Linda offered to take her and Louise out in a limo for a night on the town to forget all about Jimmy, Jr. and they ended up crashing his date with the other girl.
“If you need me, I’ll be down her on the floor, dying.”
On making out with zombies
In an early episode of the show, it was established that Tina has a kink about zombies. She happened to watch Night of the Living Dead at a pivotal point in her personal growth and, instead of leaving her emotionally scarred from the terror, it left her emotionally scarred in a sexual way.
“So, I think I’m being attacked by zombies and I start screaming, ‘Do you want to make out?’ and then we make out.”
Now, the movie hasn’t given her a lifetime of nightmares about hordes of the undead – it’s given her erotic dreams about making out with zombies.
On chivalry
Tina drops this not-so-subtle hint to Jimmy, Jr., but he fails to pick it up. Gene, on the other hand, does pick it up. He tosses his pants at Tina’s head and says, “Wash ‘em before you return ‘em!” It’s from the episode “The Belchies,” in which the kids go searching for treasure in an abandoned taffy factory, not unlike the plot of the movie The Goonies. This was way back in season 2, so the Tina character fully formed pretty much from the beginning.
“Brrr. It sure is cold in here. I wish some strong, chivalrous man would lend me his jacket – or pants.”
On love triangles
In one episode, Tina found herself caught in a love triangle as two guys whose dancing she admired fell for her at the same time. Rather than choose just one of them, she wanted to find a way to date them both at once. Instead of a decision between two guys, she wanted to be in a three-person relationship with both of them. And while the guys were initially resistant, she had the bright idea to put the “try” in “triangle.”
“We can make this work. We can work out a dating wheel, just like a chore wheel. Let’s put the ‘try’ in ‘triangle.’”
On picking up guys
Tina is leading the charge against the gender roles assigned to dating. It used to be that girls would wait for a guy they liked to ask them out, but Tina has asked out a bunch of guys. In most cases, she does the flirting and she goes up and introduces herself instead of waiting for him to come over and, eventually, she either gives him her number or asks him out. She is awkward about it, but she also projects a weird kind of confidence.
“Here’s a bunch of numbers. They may look random, but they’re my phone number.”
On threats
Tina is usually such a docile and mild-mannered character, which is what makes it so surprising when she turns against her enemies. She always has the perfect threat when someone crosses her, because she doesn’t swear or take cheap shots – but she always gets the point across. And the people who get on her bad side usually underestimate her or make assumptions about her. But then when she tells them, “Your ass is grass, and I’m gonna mow it,” they realize they’re outgunned and they made a mistake by crossing her.
“Your ass is grass, and I’m gonna mow it.”
On Halloween costumes
Whenever Tina takes part in a social activity, she finds a way to do an outside-the-box version of it. For example, when she picks out a Halloween costume, she doesn’t just dress up as a mummy – she dresses up as a mummy who is also a single mother.
“This year, I’m a mommy mummy, and I’m single and I’m working two jobs and I’m just trying to get back out there.”
She has a baby, she’s holding down two jobs, and she’s ready to get back out in the dating scene. It’s not just a costume – it’s a feminist icon.
On erotic fan fiction
Tina might be awkward in social situations, but she never tries to be anyone besides herself. Every morning, she wakes up an hour before she has to get ready for school and works on her erotic fan fiction. When Gene questions “what kind of maniac” would do such a thing, Tina simply replies, “Me.” She knows she doesn’t need to defend herself, because she enjoys what she does and she won’t let anyone bash that. We can all relate somehow, and it’s a wonderful inspiration.
“What kind of maniac wakes up an hour early to write erotic fan fiction?”
“Me.”
