“Women love a self-confident bald man.” This is one of the many pieces of advice offered up by Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm. The comedian and writer plays an exaggerated version of himself in the HBO comedy, which just started its 10th season. Throughout its run, the decidedly anti-fashion Larry has provided audiences with quite a few fashion tips, mostly by accident.
In the show, Larry often demonstrates what not to do, often finding himself in bad situations. He’s frequently isolated by his peers for his controversial stances on everyday customs most people choose to follow. Larry eschews such customs. With that in mind, here are 10 style lessons from the contrarian himself, all taken straight from the show.
Watch Out For The Pants Tent
Curb Your Enthusiasm hones in on a major fashion problem for men in its very first episode: the pants tent. This happens when there is too much fabric around the groin, which bunches up when a man sits down.
A baggy pair of pants gets Larry in trouble with his wife Cheryl’s friend, Robin. He agrees to take Robin to a movie at Cheryl’s behest. At one point, Robin caresses Larry’s arm and then looks down to see the pants tent, assuming the worst. Cheryl tries to laugh it off, but Robin refuses to believe it’s just a fashion malfunction.
Avoid Sunburns
Much later in the series, after his divorce from Cheryl, Larry is dating a younger woman name Heidi, who is a hostess at one of his favorite restaurants. Larry doesn’t take well to Heidi’s excessive use of smiley faces in texts, and Heidi doesn’t appreciate it when Larry doesn’t express condolences when she opens up about her father’s death two years earlier.
Things come to a head while Larry is sunbathing. Despite the argument, he still asks her to put sunscreen on his forehead for him. Instead, she draws a smiley face. Larry should have reapplied before he dozed off.
Keep It Normcore
Larry David was Normcore before Normcore existed. This clothing style uplifts the suburban dad look to couture status. Puffy sneakers, khakis, and plain colors are in. It’s fun to contemplate whether or not Larry is the inspiration for this look.
Larry’s fashion choices are clearly associated with his overall outlook on life. “When you’re not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom,” he says in one episode.
Bare Midriff Is No Good
When Larry and Jerry Seinfeld are working together on a Seinfeld revival, they hire an assistant who doesn’t have an office-appropriate look. In fact, this woman, Maureen, likes to wear cropped shirts to show off her body after losing a lot of weight. Larry doesn’t appreciate it, and he asks her to get longer shirts.
Eventually, this fashion disagreement leads to Maureen quitting.
Comfort Is Key
On top of being the king of Normcore, Larry is also the king of comfort. Even though he wears designer labels, he keeps it casual. He’s almost always wearing contoured sneakers, muted slacks, a sweater, and a blazer. He’s perfected the rich bum look.
This look compliments some of the situations he finds himself in. When he’s meeting with Jason Alexander about a potential Seinfeld reboot, the actor questions him about what he was doing in a trash can earlier that day. “Yeah, so what, I ate an eclair out of a garbage can,” Larry yells. Talk about being totally comfortable.
Don’t Let Sweater Sleeves Lose Their Elasticity
Larry is very particular about how his clothing fits on his body, especially his beloved sweaters. When he pays a visit to his dentist, Dr. Saul Funkhouser, he has a problem rolling up the sleeve of his sweater in order to get a shot in his arm.
Saul laughs off Larry’s predicament, telling him he’s ridiculous. Eventually, Larry has to agree to it, but the elasticity of the sweater’s sleeves are ruined until the next wash. There’s nothing more important, of course, than perfectly fitted clothing.
Get Inspiration From The Dead
Larry isn’t afraid to get clothing inspiration from unlikely sources. After seeing a photo of his dead friend Chet in a striking black and white button-up shirt, he becomes obsessed with tracking it down. He hounds Chet’s grieving wife for details until he’s able to locate the shirt in a store.
Unfortunately for Larry, the shirt is ruined by bloodstains after he visits the dentist. It turns out wearing your brand new favorite shirt to your afternoon appointment isn’t the best idea.
Men Should Never Expose Their Legs
While riding in an airplane, Larry tries to educate the man sitting next to him, a man who is wearing shorts. “Try not to wear shorts. It’s not all that attractive to look at for five hours,” Larry says. The man seems stunned by the advice, but Larry keeps going.
“You’ve never seen a man’s legs?” Larry goes on to ask, insisting that they are grotesque. In Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry seems to abide by these rules, except for one unfortunate episode where he’s forced to wear running shorts.
Don A Disguise When There’s A Fatwa Against You
In season nine, Larry has produces a musical based on writer Salman Rushdie’s life entitled Fatwa!. When he’s promoting the musical on Jimmy Kimmel, he makes a poor choice and impersonates the Ayatollah. The next day, he wakes up the news that a fatwa has been placed on him.
In order to evade punishment, Larry moves into a hotel and tries out an interesting new look that is a mix between an old hippie and an out-of-sync grandfather.
When You’re Married, You Can Wear Whatever You Want
Many of Larry’s fashion choices are guided by his belief that as a married man, he’s safe to wear whatever he wants. When he and Cheryl attend a beautiful wedding on Malibu beach, he wears an oversized straw hat, claiming to need protection from the sun.
It’s not the best look for a wedding, but according to his logic, anything should be permissible. Unfortunately, Cherly eventually files for a divorce, which calls his reasoning into question.
